Posted on 01 July 2009 by Mr. Harrington
According to CNN, Hillary Clinton will not be accompanying Obama to Russia…
She can’t go because of her elbow…
I think Sarah Palin should go in her place.
Comment from the other Contributor: I heard Secretary Clinton’s elbow really is the reason why she will not be traveling to Moscow with Obama, mostly because the injury prevents her from pressing the “Overcharged” button she gave to a Russian representative earlier this year.
Posted on 22 April 2009 by Mr. Harrington
Hillary Clinton, when asked if she would take into consideration former Vice President Dick Cheney’s request for the CIA to release more memos, she responded, “Well, it won’t surprise you that I don’t consider him to be a particularly reliable source of information.”
Of course, this is the perfect time to be making jokes…
Posted on 20 April 2009 by Mr. Harrington
Folks, This amazes me…
The lack of coherence in this administration is laughable.
So, Secretary of State Mrs. Bill Clinton said that releasing pirates “sends the wrong signal.”
But…remember, holding detainees at Gitmo sends the wrong signal…
I’m confused…
Posted on 19 April 2009 by Mr. Enos
Well here’s something new. A hostile country has take American citizens hostage and put them on trial. This time, however, that country is North Korea. Two American journalists were taken hostage by North Korea after crossing into the country from China more than a month ago. Since then the journalists, Laura Ling and Euna Lee have been held in a “state guest house” outside Pyongyang. The two, reporters for Al Gore’s media behemoth disaster, “Current TV,” were in the country to interview North Korean defectors. They, along with a cameraman and their producer–both of whom managed to avoid capture–crossed the frozen Tumen river from the Chinese city of Yanji into the country and were apprehended shortly thereafter. They are currently waiting to be put on trial for illegal entry and “hostility toward North Korean people,” which may result in terms of up to three years and five to ten years, respectively. So two United States citizens are looking at a minimum of 10 years in a foreign prison. That would really go a long way in winning over the hearts and minds of the rest of the world.
The reporter’s capture comes at a particularly perilous time as relationships between the socialist utopia and the rest of the world are crumbling as a result of their decision to launch a rocket over the island-nation of Japan. Moreover, the U.S. state department–led by none other than Ms. “Overcharged” herself--has been mum on the issue. The same is true of President Barack Obama–although he is too busy making friends with South American countries who hate us. Perhaps he is going to pull a “Maersk Alabama” on North Korea. Although I doubt the U.S.S. Bainbridge would be able to maneuver close enough to the jail where the reporters are being held for the SEAL snipers to be effective…
Read- Times Online
UPDATE: The Journalists in this story have been sentenced to 12 years in a labor camp…sorry for the delay in reporting that…
Posted on 07 April 2009 by Mr. Enos
It would seem that Americans aren’t as obsessed with First Lady Michelle Obama as the media thinks they are. The sales numbers of a general-interest magazine, while not terrible, are–like Mrs. Obama’s looks–just average and do not reflect huge sales increases as many often predict. This however is not the case with African American-oriented magazines such as Ebony where cover images of the First Lady and her husband create huge sales increases, which is not surprising. (Normally I would make a joke here, but as the Chia Pet incident of earlier spotlighted, perceived racial overtones are no laughing matter…)
UPDATE: Michelle Obama gets Waxed!
There is now a wax sculpture of the first lady. She joins the two other First Ladies with wax sculptures: Hillary Clinton and Jackie Kennedy…
Don’t you actually have to do something in order to be made into wax? Oh well…here’s the video.
Posted on 03 February 2009 by Mr. Enos
It seems that North Korea is coming around to the realization that it is no longer the global standard for “back assward-ness” as it prepares to launch a test rocket that is capable of carrying a nuclear payload. South Korean intelligence sources say that a train carrying a “long, cylinder-shaped object” was spotted en route to a possible new launch site on North Korea’s west coast. The missile has been classified as a modified version of their Taepodong-2 specification that, unmodified, is said to have a range of 4,160 miles, which puts Alaska within range. It has been speculated that the modified rocket will be able to travel much farther, possibly to the West Coast of the United States, although reactions to this news are mixed as California’s government and economy are in the throws of their own nuclear meltdown. But Cali shouldn’t worry too much because despite their ability to make a big aluminum tube and a rocket engine powerful enough to lift it skyward, the North Korean nuclear program has not developed an atomic payload light enough to fit atop the rocket. For the time being, the world is safe from the angry little man with the beehive hair.
This test comes on the heels of what has been called “the most significant event in recent history,” or the swearing in (and subsequent re-swearing in) of President Barry O. Many believe that North Korea’s new missile tests are an attempt to wrest the spotlight away from Barry, the economy and the Gaza conflict whilst getting some much needed PR time for that wacky dictatorship up north. Although, I think that it may just be a lame attempt to get Hillary Clinton–the newly appointed Secretary of Hand-Wringing and Appeasement Secretary of State–to pay the communist utopia a visit.
I hear they’re big fans of her over there.
Details to follow.
Posted on 03 February 2009 by Mr. Harrington
Hillary and Julie Goodridge, the poster children for the Gay Marriage movement in Maryland, have filed for divorce.
The divorce papers are sealed…More details when I get them.
They couldn’t try to stay together for the childre….oh…wait….
Posted on 17 September 2008 by Mr. Harrington
Ladies and gentlemen, in a turn of events which is eerily similar to the recent SNL skit which everyone is watching, Hillary Clinton has removed herself from a rally against a nuclear Iran because Sarah Palin will be there.
Her excuse for backing out as reported at Fox News accessed September 16, 2008: “Her [Palin's] attendance was news to us, and this was never billed to us as a partisan political event,” Clinton spokesman Philippe Reines said Wednesday. “Sen. Clinton will therefore not be attending.”
Folks, it was not partisan politics until Senator Clinton made it partisan politics. Hillary Clinton made it partisan politics when she said her reason for not going is Governor Palin. Protecting Isreal is not a partisan issue, it isn’t even an issue which should be debated. There is a country–Iran–which wants to push the Jews into the sea, and we–America–should do everything we can to aid our ally.
I see no room for debate. If you do, feel free.
Apparently Senator Clinton sees partisan politics in aiding a friend.
